


You're no saint, You're no savior

by EWBANH



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Epic Bromance, F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rhys is not doing too well after the fall of helios, Slow Romance, Trauma Recovery, and things get a lot worse before they even start to get better, here comes the pain train, rhysha - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28276959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EWBANH/pseuds/EWBANH
Summary: Having a genocidal mega-corp maniac stuck in your head tends to have lasting side effects on one’s psyche. Rhys finds that out the hard way.Maybe he really should have burned up when Helios fell.Oh well, it’s too late for that now.Rhys recovers. Or tries to.
Relationships: Rhys/Sasha (Borderlands)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16





	You're no saint, You're no savior

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place post TFTBL and probably isn’t compliant with Borderlands 3 because I feel like having Jack in your head for any amount of time probably requires a bit more time to recover then we’re shown. This is my take on how Rhys experiences everything about a week after the vault is opened. Song for the title is from the song Echos by Saints.  
> TW for: Suicidal Ideation.

It takes two weeks. Two weeks post the Vault. It takes two weeks for Rhys’ weakened hold on his broken mind to falter. Two weeks of little sleep, of constant interrogations, of celebrations. Of visiting Sanctuary and meeting _other_ Vault Hunters who praised him, the very ones who had killed the ghost that once consumed him.

It’s when Rhys is sleeping soundly for the first time in _months_ , comfortable under a roof with the rest of his friends, that the nightmares return. He wakes up like normal, hoping no one can notice the constant twitching of his metal arm. His head spins with each step but Rhys only swallows down the bile in his throat. He shares plans of a new corporation with Vaughn, he teases Fiona’s near constant rambling about just how cool a certain redheaded vault hunter was.

He smiles at Sasha and she smiles back and it’s almost enough to put him back together. 

_Almost._

It’s later in the day when Rhys zones out, when the ghostly voice is back and taunting him despite how hard he screws his eyes shut. 

Of course Vaughn notices first, his concern not quite heard by Rhys. And of course Vaughn, his best friend, his _soulmate,_ the man who saved him time and time again, reaches over to grab his shoulder from just out of Rhys’ line of sight.

Rhys, the _idiot_ , the Eradicator of Evil, the _hero,_ punches the one person that meant more to him than anything straight in the jaw, sending him to the ground. 

The only silver lining from the rather horrific sight of Vaughn on the floor, clutching his face, is that Rhys used his human hand.

‘ _Good one, Rhysie.’  
  
_

* * *

  
Rhys knows he doesn’t deserve much. He doesn’t deserve his friends, he doesn’t deserve to really be alive either.

But his friends think differently. 

Especially Vaughn.

The aftermath of punching his best friend was one that seemed so long ago, yet so recent as Rhys stared up at the gray ceiling of the new bedroom he laid claim to. He thinks back to the arguments, the tears, the screams. 

He was dramatic, of course.

Rhys had tried to run, then and there, his eyes wide and entire figure shaking. He was stopped by Fiona of course, the woman holding him in the kitchen of her apartment as Vaughn cried for him to stop- that it _was okay._ Sasha helped him up and Vaughn only shrugged her off as he tried to get close to Rhys, to his best friend, his _brother._ But Rhys’ only drove the final nail into the coffin.

 _‘Get away! All of you get the fuck away!’_ He had screamed, going as far as to pick up the dirtied knife slathered with some unknown jam, holding it up at the trio. His hands had shook, his eyes flickering around the room as he anticipated, he _waited_ for that voice. That apparition. 

Unlike what usually happened, Jack didn’t show up. 

So Rhys was subdued, rather embarrassingly, as Vaughn tried to comfort him. Fiona had easily gotten the knife out of his hand, slow and cautious, a sisterly effort that somehow worked against the only child. And just like that, solutions were spoken of between the three, talks of seeing various not exactly medically licensed doctors, of talking things out. 

And Rhys only made things worse. Or better. He wasn’t sure yet. 

_'You won’t ever be safe around me,’_ He confessed, nearly hysterical. _‘You better kill me before I kill you.’_

Rhys can still see Vaughn's teary eyes, Sasha’s deflated figure, and Fiona’s concern. Most of all, he could see just how disappointed they were in him.

So here Rhys was, hundreds of miles away from most of those who cared about him. From Vaughn. From Fiona. From civilization.

"I made dinner,” Sasha’s voice floated over, Rhys opening his eyes at the sound but not moving. “Come eat.” 

Rhys waited till he heard the old door creak shut before climbing to a stand.   
  


* * *

  
The nearly deteriorated farm that Rhys now called home was barely a standing structure. The location was one of the few things he liked about it, that and the ability to lock his bedroom door from the outside. 

It was a mostly wooden structure, located in the middle of what Sasha called the _Thousand Cuts_ region. There was a small field fenced in beside the two story farm, once used for agriculture and now overgrown with weeds. The bottom level held a decent enough kitchen, paired with a small living and dining room before a staircase broke into the top floor. The master bedroom had gone to Rhys, much to his own defeat, a bathroom attached without having to leave the room. Sasha had taken the only other bedroom in the home, located parallel to Rhys’. 

It wasn’t much and Rhys loved it.

And so Rhys went to work, his knees digging into the dirt of the field as he used his bare hands to dig out various weeds and invasive plants. It was disgusting, filthy work, but it did the job of keeping his mind off of the countless murders that rested on his shoulders.

It helps him forget the fact that Vaughn had no idea where he was. 

Skrakks flew above the man, nowhere close enough to be a threat, their caws loud under the burning sun. Sasha was somewhere within the building, murmuring her own day plans that Rhys had already struggled to remember. 

As much as he hated Sasha’s presence, he was thankful at the very least she had a weapon on her person at all times. That if his hold on himself had lapsed, she would protect herself. 

It was rather fucked just how thankful Rhys was. 

Dirt embedded under his fingernails, the pile of ripped out weeds behind him. Rhys knew a decent enough idea of just what gardening was, the biodome up in Helios a place he had preferred to study in back when Vaughn and him were in school. He had even taken a course on the renewable energy that powered the moonbase, the requirements of taking care of the plants and flora that bloomed up there being the main subject. 

That was nearly an eternity ago.

“I’m coming in, Rhys,” Sasha spoke, the man blinking as he sat up on his knees, turning to face the woman. He nodded wordlessly, ignoring just how belittled he felt with Sasha’s new habit of announcing everything before she did it.

He would never admit how much it helped.

Sasha pushed the gate open, leaving it open as she walked through the small field, her eyes searching the ground with a satisfied smile. She came to a crouch beside her friend, her entire figure in his eye line as she held out a bottle of some strange liquid. 

Rhys’ brows furrowed as he blinked, looking up with the slight tilt of his head. 

“You’re doing awesome work out here,” Sasha spoke, a genuine smile on her lips. “Seriously, you are cranking away at this stuff and it’s only been-” She paused, looking up to the sky before looking back at him. “-Three hours!” 

Rhys shrugged, hesitating before taking the yellowed bottle into his hand. He started to speak, only to stop, clearing his throat. 

“What i-is it?” He asked, his voice much scratchier and nowhere near as recognizable as it had once been.

“Some type of juice,” Sasha answered, holding her own bottle in her palm. “I made it with some of the fruits we brought with us.” She shifted to sit flat onto the dirt. “I kept the seeds for out here.” 

Rhys nodded, his brows still furrowed as he lifted his sleek gray arm up to uncap the bottle, twisting it slowly. 

_'She’s poisoning you.'_

Rhys took a large gulp, his metal hand digging into the soft ground as he awaited for the taste to set in. He blinked before nodding his head once more, unable to deny just how refreshing it felt.

He couldn’t recall the last time he actually tasted a meal. 

“S’Good,” He murmured, capping the bottle again. He couldn’t quite meet her gaze as he looked up to the woman, the telltale fluttery feeling in his stomach immediately being squashed down as he dug his fingernails into his palm. 

Sasha smiled, her brunette locks shifting as she looked around the field. It was enough of an excuse for Rhys to look her over, taking in her usual beauty. She wore a pair of loosely fitting brown pants paired with a white tank top over it, snuggly fitting her figure. Her waist was decorated with an orange belt filled with tools, a pistol hidden mostly out of view as her hair rested just a few inches above. 

If Rhys thought hard enough, he could almost remember just how warmly she held him.

“I think you’ve done enough today,” Sasha spoke, looking back at him. “Come on, I can use your help rearranging some furniture inside.”

Rhys nodded as he climbed to a stand, brushing off his hands as he followed Sasha once again.  
  


* * *

  
The days easily blended together, Rhys discovered early on. He usually loses track of time, something Sasha helps him out with pretty often. She was his usual reminder to eat, to get out of the field, to wake up. He would find it endearing if he wasn’t so busy wallowing in self-pity.

It’s a rainy day two weeks into their ‘vacation’ that finally keeps Rhys inside. The rain pounded down onto the fields surrounding their house, the usual canyons off in the distance no longer visible amongst the clouds and fog. Occasional rumbles of thunder sounded out early in the morning as Rhys sat across from Sasha at the table, her hands occupied with a tablet device he could probably identify if he cared enough.

But Rhys was busy with his own plans, his human hand holding a slotted screwdriver as he dug the thin metal through the grooves of his metallic arm. The arm usually required some cleaning after a week or two of use but the amount of dirt that Rhys was suddenly around made it so that he had to clean it more often. 

His metal arm was laid out against the wooden table, still attached to his shoulders as he dug the screwdriver through the metal, careful not to scratch the delicate material he had salvaged back in the Atlas Dome. The majority of the dirt easily came out, falling onto the strategically placed sheet below him as he furrowed his brows in concentration.

“Rhys?” Sasha spoke, immediately calling Rhys’ attention. 

He blinked, clearing his throat as he sat up. “Yeah?”

“The nearby town is having a little open market tomorrow,” She murmured, smiling a bit. “It’s only a thirty minute walk from here, just past the canyons. You want to come?” 

Rhys thinks for a beat, swallowing the sudden blockage in his throat. “I-I’ll stay,” He replied, quieter. “Probably safer.” 

Silence fell back onto the two, Sasha staring at him with a weird look as he went back to cleaning his arm. He felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up as her gaze didn’t falter, his hand shifting to place the screwdriver on the table before looking up, meeting her soft green eyes. 

“I’d be safer with you then alone,” Sasha stated, almost simply. “Not that I can’t handle myself, but it’s scientifically proven that walking with someone else is safer than walking alone.” 

Rhys’ brows furrowed once again. “Does that study include a guy who once had his own mind taken over by a psychopath?” He would’ve flinched at his harsh tone were it not for Sasha’s gaze locked on him. 

Sasha stared for another beat before looking back down to her tablet. “No, I guess not,” She whispered. 

The well accustomed feeling of guilt twisting in his gut greeted Rhys’ once more, his throat much tighter as he looked down at his lap, letting out a puff of air. He picked up the screwdriver, digging into arm without a care. 

Well, as little a care Rhys could pretend he had, the guilt in his stomach growing even more powerful as the silence wore on. He casted multiple glances up at the woman within a few minutes, finally giving in as he placed the screwdriver down onto the table with more force then meant to. 

“W-Will it be long?” He mumbled, looking down at his lap. 

“No,” Sasha answered immediately. “You don’t have to come-” 

“I’d rather be with you,” Rhys interrupted, not having any time to think about just how embarrassing he sounded. 

The silence returned with a vengeance, Rhys staring down at the table, struggling to look up at his friend. 

“It’ll be good to get out,” He whispered, blinking the pressure in his eyes away. 

Sasha was quiet for another beat, long enough that Rhys looked up, his gaze filled with fear. A small smile rested on her lips, her eyes crinkling. 

It’s nearly enough to make Rhys promise he’d never leave her.  
  


* * *

  
The market is crowded and bustling with people and noises and all too many unfamiliar smells. But Rhys sticks close to Sasha, thinking about the days he used to do things without feeling like he was about to choke on his own spit. He walks alongside her, her hand pointing out various signs and stalls that piqued her interest.

The particular stall they stood out had various plants that didn’t really look edible, yet Sasha peered over them all, a wide smile on her lips. She spoke with the owner, a short heavy built man who held a tray of more plants in his palm, a thick black mustache over his lip. Rhys studied the man, losing interest quickly as his eyes searched the plaza, his eyes locking on another stall. 

Rhys’ heart nearly skipped a beat. 

The stall was a bit out of the way, nearly hidden between two buildings that appeared to be falling apart. Still, Rhys slowly drifted away from Sasha, his feet nearly moving automatically as he shifted through the crowd, his hands screwed into fists as he felt the cobblestone beneath his shoes. He came to a stop just in front of it, his eyes searching the goods as his brows furrowed.

“Got anythin’ particular in mind?” The elderly woman asked, her aged brown skin reflecting the colors of the goods. She wore a small, loose-fitting red sweater paired with a black long skirt. 

Rhys looked over the stall before nodding his head, pointing at the bright yellow and white bundle before looking up, meeting the woman’s gaze, noting her all-white eye. 

“Twelve dollars,” The woman stated, reaching forward to grab the bundle, picking it up in her trembling hands.

“Oh,” Rhys breathed out, blinking as he turned around looking through the crowd, unable to spot Sasha. 

_Shit. Money. Fuck._

Rhys deflated, turning back to the woman to shake his head and apologize, only to find her waving him off already, pushing the bundle into his hands.

“B-But-” 

“I gotta sell them today,” She spoke, waving him off once again. “The plucked ones will die without care and I don’t got the space for them all.” Her cool hands connected with Rhys’ as he held the flowers in both hands, his eyes wide as she held her palms over his. “Water ‘em every night and put ‘em in a decent vase, they’ll last a long time.” 

Rhys began to shake his head, only for the woman to speak. 

“Things die if you don’t take care of them,” She stated, her right sleeve slipping down, a pale blue tattooed swirl peaking out. “You’ll learn that lesson early on or you’ll learn it the hard way.” 

Rhys watched as she let go of his hands, stepping back before waving him off. “Get outta here before I charge ya, kid,” She spoke.

Rhys nodded, whispering a quick thanks before disappearing into the crowd again. He held the bouquet in his hands loosely, the thorns alongside the stems pricking his human hand as he looked around for Sasha.

The people bustled by him, shoulders and hips bumping against him without a care. Rhys searched the crowd for the familiar sight of a bright blue bandana over brown locks, his brow furrowed. 

“Rhys!” A voice sounded out from his right, spinning around to face the noise. He looked through the crowd with wide eyes, locking onto Sasha after a beat, the woman all but sprinting through the people. She stumbled to a stop just a few feet in front of Rhys, her hands filled with bags of fruit. She looked prepared to berate him, only to freeze, her eyes locked on the bouquet in his hands. 

Rhys managed a half smile, a fluttery feeling in his chest as he pulled the bundle up in his hands. 

“For you,” He mumbled out, looking over her face. 

And Sasha smiles. She does that embarrassed little thing where she shifts the weight on her feet, looking to the side for a breath before she meets his gaze, lifting a hand to tuck her locks behind her ear, falling into another smile.

And Rhys. Rhys tries his hardest not to fall right after her. But he does anyway. 

They walk home, shoulders touching, Sasha boasting about the amazing dinner coming their way. 

Rhys holds onto the flowers with both palms the whole time. He plans to take care of them for a long time.  
  


* * *

  
Things were good, they were really, _really_ , good. Rhys was up at sunrise, tending to the plants with a unique type of love. Sasha was no longer locking his door at night, he was no longer a threat.

But like all good things that came to Rhys, they left quickly.

It’s been almost a month but Rhys doesn’t have the time to congratulate himself. It’s been almost a month without a nightmare, without his fear gripping his throat, without feeling like he was very much on the edge of the great cavern he called insanity. 

Rhys’ figure shook in the near-freezing night time air, his sheets sticking to his sweaty skin as he sat on his bed. He had taken off his metal arm, the fear of accidentally hurting himself or _her_ overcoming his senses.

_‘What’s wrong, Rhysie? Fell in love with a Pandorian?’_

Rhys slams shoves a trembling hand into his hair, pulling at the growing brunette strands as he bites his lip. He ignores the taste of metal. 

“D-Don’t- Don’t think of it,” Rhys repeats to himself, the stinging in his eyes growing painful. “H-He’s _gone!”_

 _Doesn’t mean he’s wrong,_ Rhys berates himself, shaking his head. _You stupid, selfish, fucking idiot! She doesn’t even like you like that- she_ _never_ _will!_

Rhys digs his hand into his scalp, his knees nearly against his mouth as he curled up as tightly as possible. He thought hard about the various soft instructions Sasha had once given him, how to calm down when panicked, what to do when you felt like the world was falling apart.

Except the world wasn’t falling apart, Rhys was.

“Rhys? A-Are you-”

Rhys all but screamed, his chest heaving with frantic breaths as he felt his eyes burn. “N-No! No- Do-Don’t come in!” He cried out, his hand unclasping the hold he had on his hair. He shifted, digging his fingers into the thin material of his sweatpants, his chest pricking with goosebumps. 

“Rhys,” Sasha spoke, her voice bleeding through the door. “Rhys-” 

“Sasha- Sasha you promised!” Rhys wailed, shaking his head. “You promised! You promised y-you wouldn’t-t come in- Di-Did you lock-lock the door?!” He didn’t think too hard about the rough sound that left his throat, breaking past his lips as he awaited in fear, his eyes locked on the door. 

“I’m coming in,” Sasha stated, giving Rhys no time to protest as the door slowly unclicked. 

Rhys took his last moment of fear to back away, his bare spine slamming into the wall behind his mattress as he felt his world spin. 

“Y-Your gu-gun!” Rhys cried out, his vision blurring. “Y-You don’t- You don’t have i-it-” 

“Rhys,” Sasha interrupted, slowly entering the room with both palms out, coming to a stop at the end of the bed. “Rhys, it’s okay-” 

“You-You’re not su-supposed to come in!” Rhys whimpered, his chest falling and rising in fear. “You s-swore yo-you’d always keep it- keep the gun.” 

Rhys stared, his chest burning as each breath took even more effort, his gaze locked on Sasha alone, the confusion on her face growing. He watched as she focused on him and him alone, the silence in the room interrupted only by his panicked breathing. 

It was as if the world stood still, a slow, frigid wave of understanding coming over Sasha, followed quickly by horror as her shoulders fell, her hands beginning to shake.

“Rhys,” Sasha whispered, utterly heart broken. “Rhys… Rhys the gun, the gun was _never_ _for you.”_

The world around Rhys didn’t quite make sense. He didn’t understand the blurriness of his vision, he didn’t understand why Sasha didn’t have her gun- didn’t have a way to _stop_ him. Most of all, he didn’t understand why her eyes were suddenly wet.

“Wh-What?” Rhys whispered, his voice hoarse.

Sasha’s eyes were filled with a familiar heartbreak, a familiar sadness that he witnessed not so long ago. 

“Rhys,” She started, her voice barely audible over his frantic breaths. “Did… Did you think the gun was _for you?”_

Rhys was confused by the question but answered anyway, nodding his head quickly. “Y-You hav-have to be safe- I-I can’t always-always be in the r-right mental s-state-” His words were cut off by a hyperventilating breath, his chest growing tighter. “He- He could come back an-and- I can’t.” 

It’s then Rhys feels his world crumble, his hand landing over his eyes as he feels tears push past his defenses, sliding down his face. He shook with each broken breath, each hiccuped sob. 

“I c-can’t hu-hurt you,” Rhys wailed, shaking his head as he gave up, his hand falling into his lap. “I-I hurt- I hurt V-Vaugn- I hurt-t Fiona- I can’t… I can’t hurt _you.”_

Rhys screwed his eyes shut, refusing to look up as shame consumed him. There was a reason he was here, that he wasn’t with the others. He was too dangerous, he was too cowardly. He was the hero and the villain. He was a savior and a murderer. 

Rhys was shattered, every piece of him disappearing off into different times, never to be reunited again. 

By the time Rhys feels the mattress dip, he’s lost all fight in him. He’s too _weak_ , too _cowardly_ to do anything. To stop Sasha- to keep her from trying to find those pieces again, to tell her they’re gone forever. 

“Rhys,” She whispered, her voice laced with tears. 

And Rhys jumps, nearly an inch in the air with a gasp, as her hand lands on his calf, her eyes, her beautiful green eyes, filled with tears. Her grip is as gentle as always, her lips parting. 

“Rhys,” She started, her words pained. “Sweetheart-” 

And it’s the wrong thing to say, to call him. Rhys can’t control his sobs as he shakes his head, silently begging the woman to not care, to just leave him the way he was. 

But of course, Sasha never does. 

“-I was never, _ever,_ go-going to hurt you,” She whispered, her eyes still wide and filled with big tears. “N-Nothing you could d-do would ever, _ever,_ make me hurt-t you.” She paused, squeezing his leg. “I-I’m here, I’m here with y-you because I want to-to be.” 

“B-But I-I’m-” Rhys began, letting out another broken sob with a shake of his head. “I-I’m a-a murderer, I-I killed, I-I’m– I’m the b-bad guy.” He reaches his hand up to angrily wipe his face, rubbing with all the strength he had. “I-I’m a _monster.”_

“J-Jack- Jack was i-in _my head,”_ He continued, openly crying. “H-He– He’s-s not go-going to ever l-leave!” 

Sasha shook her head, scooting even closer to the sobbing man. “Rhys, Rhys y-you killed him,” She stammers out, beginning to speak only for Rhys to cut her off once more.

“H-He’ll com-come back,” Rhys cried, swallowing loudly. “H-He’ll co-come back and-d he’ll make me ki-kill you- he s-said– He sa-said he would.” 

Rhys’ entire being heaves with a shudder, his tears still steadily sliding down his face as he looked away.

“H-He’ll kill y-you, th-then Fiona, th-then Vaughn,” He whispered hoarsely. “A-And he-he’ll ma-make sure I-I se-see it all.” 

It’s then that Rhys feels the weight on his shoulders shift, an ugly confession feeling more like a doomed prophecy as he shook in the cold air. He didn’t have the strength to look at Sasha, to see her disgust and disappointment. To see just how horrified she was with him, just how dangerous he really was.

Maybe she would grab the gun. 

“Rhys,” Sasha speaks, and Rhys nearly jumps out of his skin. He doesn’t turn to look at her, nearly jolting as she calls for him again, finally turning with a sniffle.

“H-He’s gone,” Sasha promises, and she’s much closer, her hand wrapping around Rhys’, squeezing his palm. “You killed him. Y-You got rid o-of him and he won’t ever, _ever,_ hurt y-you again.” 

Her other arm is in full view yet Rhys still jolted at the feeling of it wrapping around his side, pulling him away from the wall and against her chest. And at first Rhys is confused, he doesn’t understand but he shakes and trembles, his eyes wide.

It takes a minute to register that Sasha was now hugging him but when it hits, Rhys falls unequivocally deeper into the unnamed emotion he has for her. 

The touch is fiery yet chilling at once, like being lost in the woods yet coming home at the same time. It’s a beautiful feeling yet it terrifies Rhys to his core. He wants to push her away but hide forever in her arms at the same time. 

“You a-are Rhys, a-and no one else,” Sasha whispered, her hands wrapped around his waist. “Y-You’re not Jack. You’re no-not a hero. Not a murderer. You’re Rhys a-and you are safe. You’re with m-me, Rhys.”

Rhys trembled in her arms, his eyes wide as he stared at the floor, his shaking only growing in intensity. Sasha’s grip doesn’t lessen up but the voice in his head that sounds all too much like a ghost _does_ , so Rhys wraps his arm around her waist, flinching when he comes into contact with her skin. But it’s not enough to push him away.

And like waves breaking onto the shore, like the birds rising at dawn, Rhys finds Sasha’s arms to fit naturally around him.

Rhys feels safe for the first time in a very, _very,_ long time.   
  


* * *

  
Rhys sits besides Sasha at their dining table, the woman scrolling through the same old tablet that Rhys learned was her connection with the outside world. She would read the news and even communicate with others and it was something Rhys was thankful she had.

He had lived in his own head in the Atlas dome and hated every second of it. He wouldn’t wish it on anyone else. 

Besides, Rhys was more focused on the feeling of her palm on his thigh, playing with the seam of his sweatpants idly. 

“Fiona wants to visit,” Sasha spoke, pulling Rhys out of his thoughts as she looked over, meeting his gaze. 

Rhys blinks, his brows furrowing. “Oh,” He breathed out, clearing his throat. “Alone?”

“Only if you want her to be,” Sasha replied effortlessly, putting down her tablet as she grabs a hold of his human hand, squeezing his cold palm. 

“When?” Rhys asked tentatively, looking to the door of the house.

“As soon as she can,” Sasha murmured, her thumb running over his knuckles, her hand still on his thigh. 

Rhys nodded, clearing his throat. “The house is a mess,” He mumbled, looking back to Sasha. “But yeah, that’s fine.” 

And Sasha beams, squeezing his hand with as much strength she had. Rhys stared down with his own smile, trying hard not to think about just how close she was. 

So Rhys gets up, hiding his own smile as Sasha lets out a giddied laugh, sprinting up to her bedroom with a childlike energy. He made his way through the bottom floor, tidying up the few things that were actually out of place. His arms worked to sweep away the dust that blew in from the windows. He shuts the windows but keeps the curtains open. It takes all but an hour before a knock erupted from the front door, Rhys stiffening. 

_I know I look like shit._

And Rhys can only smile as the footsteps above erupt again, Sasha practically sprinting once again, dressed in a black pair of pants and orange sweater, her long braids held together with a bandana once again. He made his way to the entryway, standing a good few feet away as Sasha flung the door open.

Rhys’ eyes barely kept up with the fast moving colors of Fiona practically jumping into Sasha’s arms, the pair swinging as they hugged each other with all the strength they had, their laughter floating into the air. Rhys held himself, watching with a big grin as Sasha came to a stand, her hands on Fiona’s shoulders. Fiona met his gaze after a beat, gasping. 

“Rhys!” Fiona cried out, quickly making her way over, only to stop.

It doesn’t take a genius for Rhys to figure out her instinctive older sister urges. So he steps forward, closing the distance with a big hug. 

Fiona didn’t hesitate to hug him back, Sasha joining in after a beat. It’s sweet and fills Rhys’ chest with a fluttery feeling, trying to focus on that rather than the missing pair of arms around him.

“How have you guys been?!” Fiona exploded, a wide grin covering her lips as she nearly shook. “Wow- Sash it’s _beautiful_ in here!” 

“Good!” Sasha immediately answered, her hands taking Fiona’s palms. “Come look! We decorated.” 

And Rhys follows the duo, a near-permanent smile on his lips as Sasha takes Fiona from one room to the next, explaining the little things here and there, most of which were already in the home. 

The white and yellow flowers, still bright, sit on the kitchen table in a clear vase. 

Fiona and Sasha’s laughter is easily audible from Rhys’ room as he leaves them after an hour or so, letting the pair catch up. So he lies down in bed, his gray sweatpants and black t-shirt helping keep him cool in the warm Pandora air. But his mind drifts, his brows furrowed in a consistent frown as he thinks. 

If Vaughn were here he’d tell him it was dangerous. 

But he wasn’t and as much as Rhys has tried to keep it down. He missed the man more than anything in the world. He misses his laughs, his little nerdy mannerism. He misses his hugs and he misses the way he always stood by his side through everything.

Rhys hurt him and Rhys hurt him again. And he’d keep hurting him till he was sure that he was no longer a threat.

The same beautiful lie repeats in his mind.

_It’s better this way._

Rhys’ arms twitched as he sat up, the quiet conversation below nowhere near as intriguing as he reached over into his nightstand. He dug around, finding an old notepad within. He rips out a page, digging around to find a pen with his other arm before crossing his legs, the paper against his knee. 

He stared down at the blank page, swallowing the lump in his throat as he raised one hand to his hair, running a hand through it. He hated the trembling of his fingers as he tapped the pen against his thigh, sighing angrily before beginning to scribble his words down.

It takes another hour before Rhys is finished with his note, not a moment too soon. Fiona is standing at the door as he stumbles down the steps, coming to a stop beside Sasha. He waits until she’s done hugging Fiona before holding out the folded note. 

“I-If you don’t mind,” He murmured, not quite able to meet her gaze.

Fiona nodded, taking the note delicately. She placed it into the pocket of her jeans without hesitating, smiling softly. And Rhys leans forward, giving her a quick yet firm hug goodbye. He barely leaned back before Sasha’s hand intertwined with his, raising her other hand to wave goodbye, watching her outrunner drive away before shutting the door. 

Rhys looks to Sasha and she’s already looking up at him, a smile on her lips. 

Those same green eyes looked into his with a small smile that said a million things Rhys couldn’t understand. But he tries. And he always will.

“I’m proud of you,” Sasha murmured, swinging his hand a little. “I know this was different.” 

Rhys nodded, swallowing loudly as he looked out the small window beside the door, the world now dark. He tried to ignore the lump in his throat as he spoke, looking to Sasha.

“C-Can I sleep wi-with you tonight?” He stammered out.

He wouldn’t have enough time to regret his words as Sasha’s lips split into a wide smile, her eyes glistening. 

“Yes, you can,” She answered. 

“I-I can take o-off my arm,” Rhys mumbled, looking away. “Just t-to, you know, stay safe.” 

Sasha reached for his metallic arm, taking a hold of both hands with a shake of her head. “How about we try tonight with both?” She asked.

And Rhys wants to believe that it’d be that easy but he can’t. He can’t risk hurting her. So he shakes his head, swallowing loudly. But Sasha is as understanding as always and nods her head before leading him upstairs. 

Rhys hides that same fluttering feeling in his stomach as he squeezes her palm.   
  


* * *

  
Rhys is out in the field, digging deep into the dirt as he pulls out a few weeds that had managed to find the place to grow between his plants. It’s frustrating that his efforts against the menace fails time and time again, Sasha laughing at his frustrated grumbles over dinner. 

It was weird to think that a little over a year ago he was fighting for his life on a moonbase and now he was fighting his own garden. 

Sasha was inside, preparing their dinner as Rhys worked, their usual routine. Sasha handled the majority of indoor work and fixing things that often went wrong in the home, while Rhys handled the garden. He wondered if it were on purpose that things happened this way. 

Rhys felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, sitting up on his knees with wide eyes. He spun around to the home, finding Sasha peeking out the window, waving at him. He stumbled to a stand, brushing his hands off once again before making his way out of the garden, locking the door, before entering the home.

“Dinner’s ready?” Rhys asked, confused. He entered the kitchen, finding Sasha standing up with a wide smile, holding her tablet. “Is everything okay?” 

Sasha nodded, stepping over to show the man the tablet. He blinked, looking down to find a photograph of Fiona, the woman standing beside a few barely recognizable vault hunters.

“She works with them now!” Sasha explained, excitedly. “She’s a Crimson Raider!” 

Rhys smiled, his arm wrapping around her shoulders as he looked down at the photo again. “Tell her I said congrats,” He stated, “And also that she should hurry up and make a move.” 

Sasha busted out in a laugh, nodding in agreement. “Thank you! I’ve told her like a million times!” She giggled, leaning her head onto Rhys’ shoulder, already typing up the message. 

Rhys held her shoulder tighter, smiling at the pure glee that left the woman’s figure. 

The three months since he left were kind to Fiona, Rhys thinks, unable to feel anything but happiness at the thought of the woman finding a home. 

He hoped Vaughn would be finding one too.   
  


* * *

  
Rhys was curled in Sasha’s arms, the woman holding him tightly, her face nestled in his chest. His arms were both wrapped around her waist, her thin tank-top raised. The heat from the outside was barely moved as the fan above them lazily spun, Rhys’ chin in the woman’s hair. He hoped he wouldn’t wake her up, his heart in a frenzy once again. He was better at fighting the memories that assaulted his mind, Sasha only a tap away if he grew too frightened to handle the thoughts on his own.

But Rhys was stronger. More confident. He knew that the moment he awoke from a nightmare to pull away from all his surroundings, ensuring he wouldn’t hurt anyone. He had practiced it numerous times with Sasha, the majority of his nightmares no more ending with screams of terror and panicked breaths.

So Rhys only held the woman tighter, focusing on the feeling of her face against his bare chest. It felt weird to think about the fact he’d never actually kissed the woman yet here he was holding her half naked. 

She probably didn’t want him to. 

It didn’t seem to matter for long as the woman shifted in his arms, Rhys’ eyes widening as he looked down. He settled on holding her tighter, hoping she wouldn’t grow uncomfortable and pull away. 

Rhys was nowhere near prepared for Sasha to practically jump up, the top of her head colliding with his nose as she let out a cry, Rhys flying back with a yelp, falling off the side of the bed. He hit the ground, thankfully on his back, a hiss still slipping past his lips as he met Sasha’s horrified face peeking over the side.

_“Rhys!”_

The man sat up on the ground, rubbing his back, only for Sasha to drop on the ground beside him, her hands immediately cupping his face as she gasped.

“Your _face!”_ She cried, blinking away the wetness in her eyes.

Rhys’ brows furrowed as he reached up to the strange wetness beneath his nose, blood immediately coating the tips of his fingers. He stared for a beat before looking back to her wet and shocked eyes, shaking his head.

“A-Are you okay?” He asked, brows furrowed. “Y-You, l-like screamed.” He didn’t wait for the woman to speak as he reached up his non-bloodied hand, holding her face as well. 

Sasha stammered for a beat, shaking her head. “Y-Your _nose!”_ Sasha cried out.

Within minutes the pair were in the kitchen, the dull light above them lighting the room up as Rhys held an ice-pack to his nose, his spine leaning against the countertop. Sasha was hugging him tightly, the side of her face against his bare chest as she trembled, Rhys’ human arm around her waist, holding tightly, 

“M’fine, Sasha,” He murmured for what felt like the millionth time, rubbing the dip in her back. “It’s okay.” 

Sasha didn’t reply, still holding onto the man tightly. She sniffled, immediately rubbing at her eyes angrily. 

“Was it a bad dream?” Rhys whispered, shifting his hand up to the back of her head, holding her against his chest, hoping she could feel the steadiness of his heart.

The room filled with an anticipated stillness, Rhys holding still as he waited for the woman to speak. He wouldn’t have to wait long.

“Y-You didn’t g-get out of Helios,” She whispered, her voice uncharacteristically small. 

Rhys swallowed slowly, staring at the clock that hung on the wall across from him. He felt the woman’s grip around him tighten, her figure shaking in the warm air. 

“Y-You didn’t a-and–” She choked on her own words, shaking her head as she firmly planted her face into his chest. 

The silence went on for another moment, Rhys looking down at the woman before shifting. He moved the hand that held the ice pack, placing it onto the countertop behind him before moving to hold her with both arms. He wrapped one arm just over her lower back, the other around the middle of her back as he placed his face in her hair, hunching over a bit with little regard to the discomfort. 

Sasha sniffled before looping both arms around Rhys’ neck, her eyes shutting. Her hands clasped around one another, resting over the ridges on the back of his neck. 

Rhys swallowed loudly, pursing his lips in her hair as he held her tightly. He focused on the familiar smell that spoke _Sasha,_ rubbing the soft cotton of her tank-top with both hands, trying his best to ground her in the present.

“I’m not going anywhere,” He murmured, his voice soft. “Not without y-you by my side.” He placed a long kiss into her hair, his eyes shutting. 

“Nothing will ever take me away from you,” He whispered, feeling brave. “Not t-today, not tomorrow, never.” He pulled back, slowly moving his hands to cup her face, wiping away the tears that slid down her cheeks with his thumb. Rhys leaned close, resting his forehead against hers, shutting his eyes again. 

“I-I’m so-sorry for a-almost breaking your nose,” Sasha croaked. 

Rhys laughed, his figure shaking as he rubbed his forehead against hers. “It’s not broken, you’re b-being almost as dramatic as me,” He replied, relief flooding his chest when the woman snorted. “But I do think I deserve breakfast in bed tomorrow.” 

Sasha laughed once more, pulling back. She wiped her face for good measure using her arm, looking up to Rhys with big eyes. 

Rhys offered a smile, his arms draped around her lower back, holding her against him. He watched as she reached up to his face, brushing away the now dried blood hanging on the tip of his nostril with a sad hum. 

“I’m really sorry, genuinely,” She breathed out, swallowing slowly. “I’ve n-never hurt Fiona wh-when I wake up-” 

“Accident prone,” Rhys interrupted, shaking his head. “You know I am, and this was just that, an accident.” He reached to fix the straps of her tank-top, raising them before holding her lower back again. Heat blossomed the back of his neck as he found Sasha’s gaze searching his bare chest, losing any momentum he had. 

“Garden works been good on y-you,” She teased, watching as Rhys’ entire face became red, his eyes wide as her palm rested over his abdomen. 

Rhys cleared his throat, trying to find an excuse that would deter the conversation as he felt his stomach flip, that fluttering feeling returning ten-fold. His heart raced as Sasha moved her hand from his abdomen, placing her palms on both sides of his jaw. She met his gaze, her swirling green eyes filled with something both familiar and new. 

He didn’t have enough time to prepare himself as Sasha stood on the tips of her toes, reaching up before interlocking her lips with his. 

And Rhys froze, he froze for a moment, his eyes wide as he took a second to realize _this was really happening._ His heart raced, his eyes finally screwing shut as he leaned into the kiss, his arms around Sasha tightening. 

The moment was nowhere near long enough as Sasha pulled away first, her eyes locking back on Rhys’, her palms still holding his face. 

Rhys stares, his heart nearly giving out as he forced himself to _live_ in the moment- that his dream was coming true. He stared into her eyes, waiting for the next move, fear growing in his throat at the idea that she regretted it all.

“Was that okay?” Sasha asked, genuine concern in her words.

Rhys wordlessly nodded, taking a moment to gather himself before stammering. “C-Can we do i-it again?” 

It was Sasha’s turn to nod, her lips pulled into a wide grin as she leaned back up, placing another kiss onto his lips. Rhys didn’t hesitate to lean into the kiss as he held her tighter, their kiss growing into multiples. The pain in his neck was growing more noticeable, an agitated grunt leaving him as he pulled back from Sasha.

Rhys didn’t give the woman a moment to recover as he promptly lifted her up, turning around to place her onto the countertops. He stood between her legs, his arms wrapping around to hold the outside of her thighs as Sasha’s fingers dug into his hair, her other hand on the side of his neck before leaning forward and taking a hold of Rhys’ lips once again. 

Sasha’s hand reached to the back of his neck as she pulled Rhys even closer, their kisses growing more fervious. The two stayed locked around one another, only stopping when Rhys began to see stars, leaning back to breathe. His chest rose and fell quickly, Sasha looking just as out of breath as she smiled.

“I-I’ve be-been wanting to do that for a long ti-time,” Rhys breathed out, his eyes wide.

Sasha chuckled softly, holding the man’s face again. “Me too.” 

Rhys blinked, confused. “W-With me?” He asked, his voice a pitch higher.

There was no way in the world Sasha had actually liked him for anytime longer than _maybe_ a week. It didn’t make sense. Sasha was brilliant and beautiful and had a million qualities Rhys could never name.

Rhys was… Rhys.

“No, with that old fruit vendor,” Sasha replied, raising a brow before rolling her eyes, leaning forward to place a quick kiss on Rhys’ soft lips. “Yes, with you.” 

Rhys’ shaking figure deflated with a laugh, leaning past her to rest his face in her shoulder, hugging her tightly. Her arms instantly wrapped around him, placing another kiss on his neck. 

“What’d I do t-to deserve you?” Rhys mumbled out, holding her tight. 

Sasha was quiet, placing a trail of kisses along his neck, gently messing with his hair before speaking onto his warm skin. 

“Exist,” She murmured. 

And Rhys laughed, his whole figure shaking with a laugh as Sasha took to placing more kisses along his neck, moving to his shoulder, kissing the skin alongside the metal appendage. 

“I’m serious,” She whispered, leaning back with a frown, holding his face. “Being so damn hot also helped.” 

Rhys snorted. “Coming from you?” He breathed out, shaking his head before the pair fell into a series of laughs. He pulled the woman back to his chest, holding her tightly as he gently rocked back and forth, his eyes shut. 

The pair stayed wrapped around one another long into the night, the morning star greeting them.   
  


* * *

  
If one were to tell Rhys a few years ago that one of his favorite pastimes would be gardening, he would have thrown his head back in a laugh. He would have looked to Vaughn with that same disbelieving look, rolling his eyes before going back to whatever corporate bullshit he thought was important.

Rhys is glad that part of him is long dead.

The Pandora sun and rain had done its job, blossoming multiple bunches of the fruits and vegetables that they had planted in the fenced in plot of land. Sasha had already left for the nearby town, selling the half they wouldn’t need for food. 

Rhys hung back, focusing on preparing the plot for the seeds they still had left over. His hands dug deep in the ground, pushing past the various worms and leaves with his hands. The warm sun beat down on him from above, it’s warmth more welcome than usual. The various birds and wild animals squawked in the distance, a few Skrakks fighting atop one of the canyon’s with their noises echoing through the valley. 

It was a weird type of peaceful. 

The sound of an engine quickly pulled Rhys out of the ground, the man standing up on his knees as his eyes grew wide, looking in the direction of the noise. His heart raced at the sight of an approaching Outrunner, the all too familiar feeling of fear grappling his stomach. 

Rhys wasn’t entirely sure what to think of the incoming guests, his legs carrying him to the front of the house, locking the gate behind him before making his way to the rundown porch. He stood on the creaking wood, trying to think of the closest thing that would be a weapon. 

At least Sasha had her gun.

The vehicle came to a stop just a few feet away from the home, Rhys standing up straight as he watched two people he barely recognized jump out, his eyes widening.

 _Vault Hunters?_

The red-headed vault hunter he recognized from the celebrations walked up first, her hand on her hip as a much skinnier man walked beside her, his face hidden behind a thick pair of goggles, a large sniper on his back as a small bird-like creature sat on his shoulder. 

“Rhys?” The woman called out, coming to a stop just in front of the home, looking him over. 

_Oh boy._

“What can I do for you?” Rhys spoke, his arms crossing over his chest, hoping to hide the inkling of fear in his stomach.

The taller man shifted, his hands on his hips as he frowned. “We didn’t know you had a certain someone implanted into your head,” He spoke.

It was as if all the air around Rhys disappeared, a certain buzzing erupting in his head as his throat went dry. He blinked hard, hoping to push away the onset dizziness he felt, his shaking hands thankfully hidden from view.

“You didn’t think it was important to tell us about Handsome Jack being implanted in you?” The red-haired woman spoke, stepping closer.

Rhys couldn’t help himself as he stepped back, eyes wide, flickering between the two.

“Your little friend spilled the beans,” The man added with a shake of his head.

_Fiona?!_

“How about we go inside?” The woman spoke, walking forward and past Rhys, pushing the door open. Rhys hesitated before following after her, the man behind him following immediately, shutting the door before locking it.

Rhys followed the other woman through his home, watching as she leaned against a nearby counter, gesturing for Rhys to sit down at the kitchen table.

“I’ll… stand,” Rhys stated, swallowing the dryness in his throat.

“So, what’s the deal, man?” The vault hunter spoke, standing in the doorway. “You didn’t think it was important to tell us you had that bastard implanted in your head?”

“He couldn’t _do_ anything,” Rhys replied, trying to keep his anger out of his words. “He was a termite. Nothing more, nothing less.” 

“Is that why you dropped Helios?” 

Rhys hesitated, losing a bit of his resolve. “He got into Helios’ mainframe,” He muttered, not quite able to meet their gazes. “So I crashed it, yes. It was that or he’d take complete control over the base and everyone on Pandora would be fucked.” 

Silence filled the small kitchen, the buzzing of the fridge and old light the only noise in the space. Rhys shuffled his feet, growing a bit more courageous in the moment. 

“I ripped him out of me,” Rhys continued, looking between both vault hunters. “Literally. He was in my Echo-eye and my arm, I ripped them off and he’s gone for good.” 

Rhys looked away, holding himself tighter as he tried his hardest to hold back the shaking of his figure. His chest felt as if it were going to burst at any moment, his eyes locked onto the ground as he awaited his punishment. 

“You’re sure he’s gone?” The woman spoke, jolting Rhys’ gaze up to her. “Never to return?”

Rhys nodded.

“And we just gotta take your word for it?” The man questioned, leaning off the doorframe. “You don’t got any evidence to prove that your lil’ corporate asshole isn't still in your head? That you didn’t keep him hiding around?” 

“Why would I kill almost everyone I’ve ever known just to keep that termite in my head?” Rhys hissed, narrowing his eyes. “I destroyed my own home, killed thousands of people, and lost my own eye and arm.” 

“You genocidal maniacs have never cared about people,” The man replied with a sneer. “You all murder thousands-” 

_“Mordecai,”_ The woman interrupted, her frown bleeding into her words. “Enough.” She stepped forward, looking over Rhys before meeting the other man’s gaze. “Fiona wouldn’t lie.”

“Then why did you come out here?” Rhys sneered, his hands curling into fists. “If you trust her-” 

“We wanted to hear it from you,” The woman replied, her hand back on her hip. 

Rhys could understand that. 

“I made sure he was dead,” He spoke, his voice much quieter. “There’s no more AI’s of him, no more little hidden ‘saves’. Nothing. He’s dead and I made sure of it.”

Rhys’ frown faltered, looking between the two before nearly jumping at the sound of a loud bang from the front door, his eyes wide. 

_“Rhys!? Rhys!”_

“Sasha!” The man cried, pushing past Mordecai without another care. He unlocked the door, swinging it open. 

Rhys didn’t have a second to prepare as the woman all but jumped onto him, hugging him tightly, her right hand carrying her pistol. She pulled away, looking to the two near-strangers, trying her best to hide Rhys behind her much smaller figure.

“Relax, lady, we didn’t lay a hand on him,” Mordecai muttered, staring down at the woman.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Sasha demanded, her voice icey. 

“We were leaving, Sasha,” The red-haired woman spoke, frowning a bit. “You know Fiona-” 

“I don’t _care_ , Lilith,” Sasha snapped, “Get. Out.” 

Rhys stood behind Sasha, her grip around his wrist growing painful as the two vault hunters shuffled out of the home. She didn’t hesitate to slam the door behind them, staring through the window as they drove off. 

_“Sash-”_

“Why did you let them in!?” Sasha cried, spinning around to face Rhys with wide eyes. “Th-They could have hurt you- D-Did they?!”

Rhys shook his head quickly, holding her upper arms. “Sasha, I’m fine,” He assured, squeezing her arms. “Breathe, it’s okay.” 

“No it’s not!” Sasha all but shouted, staring up at the man. “Th-They could have hurt you! You didn’t know what th-they wanted.” Her chest heaved with a panic breath as she curled her hands into fists, her eyes burning.

“They just wanted to make sure he was dead,” Rhys whispered, reaching a hand up to brush one of her locks behind her ear. “I promise, they didn’t-”

“It’s not their business!” Sasha replied, shaking her head. “You’re not some- some _criminal_ to be interrogated at their will!” Her chest heaved with a panicked, angry breath, her eyes locked on Rhys’. “I’m serious!” 

“I know, babe,” Rhys murmured, leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers. “But I’m okay. We just talked.” 

Sasha sighed, shifting to hug the man, her face nestling back in his chest as she held him tightly shutting her eyes.

“Fiona called, sh-she told me she messed up a-and they were coming for you,” She breathed out, her hands bunching up the back of his shirt.

“They didn’t seem mad,” Rhys whispered, his hand in the back of the woman’s scalp. “Just wanted answers. And I gave them. So they won’t be around for a while.” 

Sasha sighed, not quite ready to let go. “She was panicked, I-I thought they would h-hurt you.” She squeezed him tighter, tilting to rest the bottom of her chin on his chest, meeting his gaze. 

Rhys shook his head, forcing a smile onto his lips, deciding it was better to take the easier route. “They wouldn’t dare, not if they knew you were around,” He murmured, holding her face with his human palm, brushing her cheekbone. “You’d eat them alive.” 

Sasha snorted, looping her arms around his neck, her hand curling in the root of his hair as she raised a brow. “Yeah, you’re right,” She began, smirking. Her hand brushed his hair for a beat, focusing on the man in her arms for another beat before speaking.

“You need a haircut,” She teased. 

Rhys chuckled softly, resting his forehead against hers. “I’ll get on it, captain.”

“Let me do it,” Sasha breathed, growing excited. “I promise I won’t ruin your hair. I’ll make it extra cute.” 

Rhys blinked, unsure before giving in with a smile. “Fine, but if you give me a mullet I’m going bald,” He stated, rubbing his nose against hers.

“Deal,” Sasha replied, smiling into the kiss she gave him.   
  


* * *

  
There were many more nights than Rhys liked where he felt that his thoughts were not his own. Where sleep would evade him, the air too suffocating around his very soul as he fought the demons in his mind. 

At least he wasn’t alone with those thoughts anymore.

Rhys felt Sasha’s soft fingers trail up and down the ridges of his spine, the dark room illuminated by the candle on the nightstand beside their bed. She was sitting behind him, her pale blue nightgown reflecting the soft light of the candle as Rhys was nearly doubled over, both hands in his hair with his eyes screwed shut. His chest heaved every few seconds with a heavy breath, occasionally muttering to himself angrily all the while Sasha sat silently, her hand the only constant in Rhys’ mind. 

_‘Did you ever tell her your own family was up there, Rhysie?’_

“D-Do we-we have water on th-the nightstand?” Rhys stammered out, his voice scratchier than he recalled. He heard a quick _‘mhmm’_ from the woman behind him, her hands grasping at the bottle they always kept beside them, placing it in beside him. 

Rhys grabbed at the plastic desperately, raising it to his lips before taking in a large gulp, screwing it shut after a second before tossing it behind him. He settled his hands back in his hair, forcing out a long breath as he repeated the same mantra in his head again.

_He’s dead and you killed him. It’s just you._

His whole figure trembled with a shiver, his bare upper body igniting in goosebumps despite the warmth in the air. Sasha’s trail up and down his back didn’t diminish despite his shaking body. 

It was a rather sad sight. 

“I-I’m fi-fine,” Rhys forced out, shaking his head as he dug into his hair. “I-It’s Rh-Rhys.” He forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat, opening his mouth again. “I-I’m in- I’m in control.” 

“That’s right,” Sasha replied, her voice a calm in the storm that was Rhys’ mind.

Rhys forced himself to nod, dropping his hands from his hair, refusing to turn around and face the woman behind him. He both loved and hated the fact she was present for this whole catastrophe, trying his hardest to shield her from him. 

It was hard considering just how well Sasha knew him. 

Sasha’s other palm landed on Rhys’ lower back, this time not startling the man as she scooted closer. Her hand moved to his side, wrapping her arm around his lower back before slowly pulling him to her chest, her chin nestling into his hair. 

Rhys held his cries, his trembles only growing. 

“I have you, Rhys,” Sasha murmured, holding him still. “No one will hurt you and you’re not going to hurt anyone. It’s okay.” She paused to place a kiss in his scalp, shutting her eyes. “It’s just us, baby.” 

Rhys nodded, holding himself as he kept his eyes screwed shut, refusing to admit to himself just how safe he felt in Sasha’s arms. 

“Talk to me, Rhys,” Sasha breathed out, promptly frightening Rhys further. 

The room grows silent, Rhys’ going still as he fought the various urges in his mind. He struggled between shunning Sasha away and confessing his whole heart out. Between yearning for it all to end or to fight everyday. 

The lines were blurring more and more every second. 

Rhys feels his chest cave in as Sasha’s thumb brushed his jawline, turning to face her with big eyes.

Sasha held his face with both hands, leaning down to place a kiss between his eyes before moving to place a kiss on the tip of his nose. She shifted his head a bit, turning to place a kiss over the temple port on the side of his head.

Rhys went still, his eyes wide, nearing on terrified. He stared, meeting Sasha’s gaze as she shook her head.

“You’re not what your brain tries to convince you you are,” Sasha whispered, mere inches away. “You’re not a monster, you never have been and you never will be, Rhys.” 

Rhys’ gaze fell to his lap immediately, his heart beginning to race as he thought about all the untold horror stories he hid. He thinks about the children who lived on Helios, he thinks about his old friends, the few he had, and he thinks about-

“M-My parents a-are- _were_ u-up there,” He whimpered, his eyes screwing shut. “V-Vaughn’s t-too. H-His sister-” He choked on a sob, biting down on his lip as he pushed to hide his face in Sasha’s collarbone. 

“I k-killed them.” 

Sasha was quiet, her hand back in his hair as Rhys’ figure shook from the sheer effort it took to hold in his sobs, trying his hardest not to cry. 

“I-I haven’t t-talked to-to my parents in _years,”_ Rhys stammered, desperate to make himself less of a villain. “A-And Vaugh- h-he didn’t- he _never mentioned_ that- that I-I ki-killed his fucking f-family!” 

Another choked sob left his chest, his arms wrapping around his own stomach, holding himself. 

“H-He hates m-me, h-he’ll _always_ h-hate me,” Rhys wept, his words barely recognizable. “M-My best fr-friend in the wh-whole _fucking_ galaxy a-and I kil-killed his _family.”_

Rhys shook his head, trying and failing to pull out of Sasha’s hold, the woman hugging him to her chest. He vaguely recognized the soft, _loving_ , voice that belonged to Sasha, his mind falling apart as it struggled to understand what she was saying. 

He gave up soon after that, falling into a pit of tears and ravaging sobs that left him quivering in Sasha’s arms. He didn’t have it in him to pull away from the woman, his tears sliding down his face in rapid succession. 

Rhys hid from his own mind in Sasha’s arms, praying he would never have to leave.  
  


* * *

  
The sun was setting over the farm, a time of day that Rhys usually enjoyed with Sasha. His duties were over and done with, his legs and arms aching from use as he lied against the pillar of the creaking wooden porch. Sasha sat between his legs, her back against chest as she ate from a fruit picked from their garden, her eyes locked on the sunset. 

Rhys was sure this was the closest thing he’d ever get to heaven. 

“I never got sunsets like these back home,” Sasha murmured, biting into her fruit soon after. “Not this pretty.” 

Rhys hummed out a note of agreement, the arm loosely wrapped around her stomach tightening a bit. “Seems a bit cliche now that I can actually watch the sunset,” He spoke, focused on her alone. “Beautiful.”

“I guess you never really got to watch a sunset up there,” Sasha breathed, turning her head to look at him. “Is it what you imagined?” 

Rhys thought for a beat before leaning forward, placing a quick kiss between her eyes. “I’ve seen more beautiful things,” He answered, a smirk growing on his lips. 

“Ha ha,” Sasha giggled, elbowing him gently before settling back against his chest. “You really grew a lot bolder after becoming my boyfriend.” 

Rhys stiffened, his eyes widening.

_Boyfriend!?_

He figured his sudden shift was noticed as Sasha turned around, her face a slight shade of pink. 

“I-I’m your- your _boyfriend?”_ Rhys squeaked. 

Sasha’s gaze flickered to the side, not quite able to meet his gaze. “I-I mean, I _thought_ that but-but I don’t want you to think you have to be-” 

“You like me _that much!?”_

Sasha blinked, meeting his gaze with furrowed brows. “What… did you think…?”

“I thought m-maybe ‘cause you’re stuck w-with me, I don’t know!” Rhys stammered, shaking his head. “You- Me?!”

Sasha blinked. “Stuck- Rhys, I _chose_ to be here,” She stated, her hand curling around his wrist. “The only thing I didn’t choose here, is liking you- which before you start, is a _good_ thing!” 

Rhys stared for another beat, his mouth agape. “I-I can’t be your boyfriend!” He nearly cried out, shaking his head. “I-I’m- you could do _so_ much better! You _deserve_ better!” 

Sasha frowned. “I deserve a million dollar mansion in New Opportunity,” She began, her brows still furrowed. “And I deserve a boyfriend who I _like,_ not a random guy I have to pretend to like for a job.” She put down her fruit, wrapping her stickier hand around Rhys’ other wrist with big eyes.

“Rhys, if you don’t want to be my boyfriend, that’s okay,” Sasha spoke, her voice firm. “But if you do like me, and you want to be in a relationship with me, I have no gripes.” 

Rhys blinked, swallowing slowly. “Y-You actually li-like me?” He mumbled, still shocked.

Sasha nodded firmly, squeezing his wrists. “I really, _really_ , like you, Rhys.” 

Rhys couldn’t contain the relieved laugh that broke past his lips. “I-I really, _really,_ like you too!” He cried, throwing his arms around her, hugging her tightly. They giggled in one another’s arms, their figures shaking before Sasha pulled away first, placing a kiss on his lips. She shifted closer, nearly crawling into his lap as she held his head, leaning more into the kiss as her hands tangled with his brown hair. She pulled away first, leaning into the man’s arms that were wrapped tightly around her lower back. 

“None of that dumb thinking anymore,” She teased, flicking his nose. “I’m not stuck with you, I want to be here. And I want to be your girlfriend.” 

Rhys nodded slowly, clearing his throat. “I-I wanna be your boyfriend,” He spoke, laughing halfway through his sentence. “Holy fuck- You _like_ me!” 

“Way to pay attention,” Sasha replied, smiling. “I’ve liked you for a while, Rhys.” 

It didn’t make sense. 

“Oh,” He breathed out, blinking for a beat. “I-I’ve liked you fo-for a while too, a really _long_ while.” He paused, securing her against his hips. “You really want to be my girlfriend,” He repeated, his voice quiet. 

Sasha smiled, rolling her eyes as she slipped back down to sit between his legs, her back resting against his chest with his arms immediately looping around to hold her. “First decree as your girlfriend,” She began, looking out to the sunset. “Is getting rid of your ugly socks.” 

“Ugly!” Rhys cried, his offense only growing as Sasha giggled. “They’re not ugly! You just don’t know fun!” 

Sasha shook her head against him, picking up her fruit once more, raising it to his mouth as he took a bite. “Fine, you keep the socks but you’re seeing a doctor about your snoring problem.” 

Rhys shook with a laugh, leaning forward to place a kiss in her hair, holding her tighter. “Fine,” He spoke, sighing. “Only for you.” 

The woman shook with giggles, finishing up her fruit before leaning deeper against the man’s chest, sighing happily. She looked out to the sunset, staring as she played with the man’s fingers idly. 

Rhys rested his cheek into Sasha’s hair as he shut his eyes, letting the last of the sun’s rays shine over him.  
  


* * *

  
Rhys held the tablet in his shaking hands as he curled up on the floor of the kitchen, the only light coming from the machine itself. His thumb hovered over the _call_ button, his heart racing in his chest as he fought the urge to vomit.

Sasha had given him the okay to call from her device, even going as far as to go to bed early so he’d have privacy. That didn’t mean Rhys was anywhere near brave enough to actually _use_ it. 

The blaring white font bled into Rhys’ eyes as he stared down at the device, his throat dry. His ears were filled with a painful buzzing, his head spinning with each deep breath he took as he struggled to gather the very much needed bravery to call.

_You miss him more than anything in this world._

That was an understatement.

Rhys screwed his eyes shut, nowhere near courageous enough to see his actions unfold. 

The dull ringing of a dial disrupted the quietness of the kitchen, Rhys physically flinching at the noise as he kept his eyes screwed shut. The device continued to ring, eventually leading to Rhys opening his eyes, staring down with wide eyes.

_“You’ve reached Vaughn and I couldn’t pick up! Please leave a message and-”_

Rhys hung up promptly, the robotic nearly fraudulent sound of his best friend’s voice nearly sending him over the edge. He closed out of the screen, pushing the device onto the ground before screwing his eyes shut, resting his head against the wall of the kitchen.

_He doesn’t even want to talk to you. Not after you aband-_

The violent ringing of the tablet beside Rhys jolted him a good few feet in the air, the device vibrating against the tile floor as he stared at it. He felt his throat instantly dry up, picking up the tablet with wide eyes before bringing his shaking finger over the green button as he swallowed.

_“H-Hello?”_

Rhys nearly threw up.

“V-Vaughn?” 

The sound of shuffling erupted over the call, followed almost immediately by a desperately human cry. 

_“Rhys- Rhys is that you?”_

Rhys nodded, berating himself silently as he forced himself to speak. “Y-Yeah, bud, i-it’s me.” He paused to clear his throat, sniffling. “I-It’s Rhys.” 

Silence flooded the call, each ticking echo of the hanging clock serving as another punch to his stomach, his eyes screwed shut in horrified anticipation.

 _“Rhys- Rhys I fucking miss you dude,”_ Vaughn sniffled over the phone, clearing his throat soon after. _“Wh-What- How are y-you?”_

Rhys let out a cry, reaching up to angrily rub his face, hating just how blurry his vision was. “I-I’m good,” He stammered, swallowing loudly. “I-I’ve been-been doing so-some gardening.” 

_“Gardening!? A-Are you serious?”_

“Y-Yeah- I-I’m d-doing a lot of gardening st-stuff,” Rhys answered, sniffling again. “I-It’s like, fr-fruits and so-some vegetables.” 

_“Dude- That’s si-sick!”_ Vaughn replied, his voice wavering dangerously despite the obvious excitement in his words. _“Do y-you like it?”_

Rhys hummed out a _‘mhmm’_ , wiping his nose as he stared down at the kitchen floor. “H-How’re y-you?” He asked, his voice breaking dangerously. “I-I mis-miss you.”

It’s a sob on the other end that nearly sends Rhys into a volatile breakdown, only for a voice to crackle over the other side.

 _“I-I miss you a-a lot too, man,”_ Vaughn whispered, his voice cracking. 

Rhys’ chest hitched with a sob as he nodded to himself, holding his knees against his chest. “I-I’m so-sorry, V-Vaughn,” He cried, his voice breaking, “I-I’m so-sorry for everything-”

_“Rhys don’t–”_

“No, V-Vaughn, I-I ne-need to,” Rhys interrupted, shaking his head. “I-I’m sorry f-for hitting y-you, for-for not telling y-you about Jack.” He stopped, much against his own will as a hiccup left his throat, reaching up to rub his eye. “I-I’m sorry a-about Helios. A-And- And-”

He choked on a sob, his hand covering his mouth as he sobbed.

“I-I’m sorry fo-for leaving.” 

The strange buzzing returned tenfold, Rhys flinching at the silence as he tried his hardest to stifle his sobs. 

_“Rhys? Y-You still there, bro?”_

Rhys rubbed his nose and eye, sniffling loudly as he stifled another sob into his palm. “Y-Yeah.” He barely registered the string of sniffles that erupted on the other side of the call, his eyes wide as he awaited the incoming yelling from the man.

 _“I-I never bl-blamed you, Rhys,”_ Vaughn says, and Rhys nearly passes out.

 _“Rhys, you-you had no choice i-in half the things y-you did,”_ Vaughn continues, his voice wet and filled with tears despite his fiery tone. _“I-I don’t ha-hate you, dude. You… You’re my best fucking fr-friend, Rhys. You’re_ _family.”_

Rhys shakes his head, preparing a list of confessions and crimes but Vaughn doesn’t give him the opportunity.

 _“I-I’ve never h-hated y-you or blamed yo-you or anything like that, Rhys,”_ Vaughn practically sobs out. _“Y-You’re my best friend and-and-”_

_“I lo-love you, Rhys.”_

Rhys can’t quite hold his relief in any longer, sobbing into his palm as he holds his legs tighter around himself, ignoring the probable bruising he was doing onto himself. 

_“I love you, ma-man, and I-I fuck-fucking miss you. I-I’m worried-”_

“D-Don’t be,” Rhys stammered out, hiccuping. “I-I’m s-safe, I-I’m ok-okay.” He paused, clearing his throat. “I-I have a-a gi-girlfriend.”

Vaughn laughs and it’s almost enough to make Rhys get up and run all the way back to Sanctuary.

_“Really? F-Finally?!”_

Rhys joined in with a chuckle, wiping his face again. “Y-Yeah, t-turns out Sasha l-likes me b-back,” He mumbled.

 _“No shit! I tol-told you so!”_ Vaughn laughed again, his voice still wet. _“I can’t believe it, did y-you–”_

“Do-Don’t eve-even say it,” Rhys all but shouts, falling into a fit of giggles. “Sh-She’s perfect, l-like too g-good for me.” 

_“Shut up-p,”_ Vaughn replied, snorting. 

Silence fell over the two, their sniffles and hiccups the only noise for a long moment. Rhys sighed, shuddering as he rested his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. 

“H-Hey, Vaughn,” He breathed out, waiting for the man to respond before continuing. “I-I love y-you too, a-a lot.”

Vaughn sniffles loud enough to be heard over the call, followed by some more shuffling.

 _“I-I know,”_ He replies back quietly. _“I-I just– just please promise m-me you’re t-taking care of-f yourself.”_

“I-I am,” Rhys assured quickly, “I-I swear. I-I’ve e-even got ab-abs now.” 

_“No way, dude! I-I’m supposed to b-be the buff one! Stung by bees, remember?!”_

Rhys laughs, his shoulders shaking as he smiles through his words. “I’ll lose it all wh-when I come back, don’t worry,” He replied, still smiling through his tears. “Just f-for you, like a r-real bro.” 

Vaughn laughs again, this time ending with a loud yawn. Rhys blinks, looking up to the clock with wide eyes.

“Sh-Shit, I-I didn’t realize i-it was so late,” Rhys muttered, sitting up. 

_“N-No, I-I’m not tired, dude-”_

Rhys feels a pang of guilt at the desperation in Vaughn’s voice, swallowing slowly. 

“V-Vaughn, go-go sleep,” He murmured, shutting his eyes. “I-I’ll… I’ll see you so-soon.” 

Silence filled the kitchen once more, Rhys’ bracing himself for the man’s words. 

_“Promise?”_

Rhys nodded once more, forcing himself to speak again. 

“I-I promise,” He whispered, his chest hitching with a heavy breath. “I-I’ll s-see you soon, r-really so-soon.” 

Vaughn is quiet again, the line interrupted only by the man’s sniffling. Rhys waits, thinking of what he can say to make him feel better, before his voice crackled through again. 

_“Okay, Rhys,”_ He spoke, his voice shaking. _“I-I’ll be w-waiting.”_

Rhys swallowed the lump in his throat, nodding once again as he hugged his knees tighter. “S-See you l-later, Vaughn,” He breathes into the phone. 

_“See yo-you soon.”_

Rhys is the first to hang up, holding the tablet to his chest for a long beat. He forces himself to calm down, taking in deep, stabilizing breaths as he hugs himself with as much strength as he can manage.

It takes an upwards of ten minutes for his shakiness to finally reside, Rhys forcing himself onto his feet, placing the tablet onto the table, his weak legs carrying him up to the bedroom. He shimmied through the left over door, moving to climb onto the mattress as quietly as possible. He crawled under the sheet before scooting over to Sasha, pulling her back to his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, tangling his legs with hers. He placed a kiss on her bare shoulder, hiding his face in her neck as she held his hands at her front. 

Rhys shut his eyes, taking a long time to fall asleep.   
  


* * *

  
The bustling noise from the kitchen was intertwined with Sasha and Fiona’s combined laughter, the two preparing a large dinner to the best of their ability. Fresh fruits and vegetables rested on the dinner table as they took turns chopping them up before seasoning them and cooking them. Sasha read off the instructions for a cake rather confusedly, Fiona trying to correct her as she went along.

Rhys… Rhys was trying to stop his violent shaking. 

He was thankful that Fiona had held onto one of his suits, the woman bringing it with her as he slid into each clothing. His shirt fit a bit more snug around his arms, bringing a weird smile to his face at the idea of having some form of muscle. Rhys moved to run a hand through his hair, stealing Sasha’s comb to brush out the less cooperative strands. 

Rhys had already cleaned up the house, multiple times at that, reorganizing and organizing the same few items until he was satisfied. Sasha had thankfully let him do what he felt was appropriate, despite Fiona’s teasing. 

_‘Come on, Rhysie! We both know he hates–’_

“Rhys, can you come down for a second!” Sasha called out. 

Rhys didn’t hesitate to run down the steps, stepping into the kitchen in his black suit. He immediately grew red at Fiona’s whistle, his eyes widening as he looked to Sasha, the woman busy admiring his clothing.

“Okay, maybe the wardrobe _doesn’t_ need to be changed,” Sasha murmured, her hand resting on his stomach as she smiled. 

Rhys cleared his throat, beaming at the woman. “Told you, I’m a master of aesthetic,” He stated rather proudly. 

Fiona boomed into a laugh, nearly keeling over with the bowl in her hands.

“I think you look great,” Sasha agreed, standing on the tips of her feet to place a quick kiss on Rhys’ forehead. She leaned back, tucking in the pockets of his slacks with a happy smile. “Can you help us get this jar open? Fiona screwed it back shut and of course now she can’t get it open.” 

“I _promise_ you he did it when we weren’t looking,” Fiona cried out, stirring the contents of her bowl. “He just has you wrapped around his finger, you’re too blind to see it!” 

“It’s the other way around,” Sasha pointed out, smirking. “Ain’t that right, baby?” 

Rhys only rolled his eyes, taking the jar out of her hands. He used his metal arm to unscrew the top easily, handing it back to her with a soft smile. “Anything for you.” 

Fiona audibly gagged, sending Sasha into a fit of giggles. She blew Rhys a kiss before turning back to the countertop, unloading the contents within into the bowl. Rhys watched with a gentle look, leaning against the doorway, as her hands delicately held the vase of flowers, moving it a safe distance away from Fiona’s volatile creation. 

It made Rhys happier than he could ever articulate. 

Rhys stepped away from the kitchen, deciding to leave the two women to their own devices as he looked out the living room window, peering into the garden he had curated himself. He eyed the various plants and vegetables he had watered and cared for over the last few months, already setting out his plans for what he’d need to do tomorrow to ensure their survival. 

“How long have you kept these flowers?” Fiona asked from the kitchen, calling Rhys’ attention back.

“Rhys handles them,” Sasha answered, nonchalantly. “He’s never had a single plant die since we’ve been here.” 

Rhys smiles a bit at that, his chest filled with a fuzzy warmth. 

The man’s legs carried him back to the kitchen, a soft smile on his lips as he tucks his fingers into his pockets, peering in. He found Sasha to be nearly shoulder to shoulder with Fiona, the older of the two chopping up more food. Sasha stood over the stove, stirring a large pot with a keen eye, her brows furrowed as she looked over the four bowls on the dining table.

Rhys never wants the fuzzy feeling in his chest to leave. 

It’s a knock at the door that startles the trio still, Rhys’ eyes wide as saucers. The duo in front of him spin to look at him, Fiona sporting an excited smile while Sasha’s eyes twinkle. 

“I-I got it,” Rhys stammers out quickly, ducking out of the kitchen. He pulls his hands out of his pockets, the shaking of his fingers barely phasing him as he reached for the door. 

Rhys smiles and the sun smiles back. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Some cute little notes that I personally thought of while writing:  
> The flowers Rhys gets for Sasha are actually meaningful! Yellow for forgiveness and white to symbolize new beginnings. It’s a sweet touch to how Rhys feels about his whole… situation.  
> I chose gardening as a tool for Rhys to kind of recover because all though it can be hard work, it’s consistent and usually comes with no surprises. I also feel like anything remotely corp-esque would disgust him for a little bit. Being away from people would help him reset emotionally and deal with a lot of his trauma.  
> Friendship is one of the most sacred and important types of relationships you can hold and I really wanted to shine how important they are to a lot of people, especially someone like Rhys who is a very emotional type of guy.  
> Also, if you caught onto it, the flower lady was a siren! She was a nice little piece to show that as much as Rhys thinks he's incapable of being anything but a monster, he can still love things and take care of them (his flowers, plants, friendships, and Sasha.)  
> Again, I hope you all enjoyed this reading, please leave comments/kudos if you did! You can also find me on tumblr at ewbie.tumblr.com!


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